I am no longer on Facebook, this is not recent or new, I took the leap 2 years ago.
I had grown increasingly dissatisfied with the social network, and by the time I was wasting scrolling newsfeed.
No regret about the decision, the only feature I had to find an alternative is the ability to keep in touch with some people, especially since I move abroad and to a different city, in other word going back the old fashioned way: use email, shockingly call directly using my phone.
I want to discuss here the strategy I have been using.
First, not all acquaintance are equal, we get closer to some and disconnect ed to others, and those relations keep evolving over time.
Leaving Facebook forces you to sort out this, and prioritize the relationship you value and want to preserve, and the one you can do without, and can easily prune out.
I had grown increasingly dissatisfied with the social network, and by the time I was wasting scrolling newsfeed.
No regret about the decision, the only feature I had to find an alternative is the ability to keep in touch with some people, especially since I move abroad and to a different city, in other word going back the old fashioned way: use email, shockingly call directly using my phone.
I want to discuss here the strategy I have been using.
First, not all acquaintance are equal, we get closer to some and disconnect ed to others, and those relations keep evolving over time.
Leaving Facebook forces you to sort out this, and prioritize the relationship you value and want to preserve, and the one you can do without, and can easily prune out.
Now I have few categories, two sometimes overlapping
1. Work and colleagues relationship
All work-related connection has been moved and is staying exclusively on Linkedin. The platform is great to stay in touch with colleague, industry progress and jobs opportunities, without too much of the un-wanted noise. I have found noisier and noisier content appearing in the last two years, but careful use of the unfollow feature is helping to keep it under control.
2. Family and friends
Email, messaging, Skype, phone, or even better meeting directly face to face.
I am not short of families gathering on the Irish side, for the people abroad it does require more voluntary effort - and I need to improve on that.
I have setup shared photo albums, so they can be easily accessed by my family abroad.
In the end, I found that I do need to schedule a time for the phone call or meetup, allowing a dedicated time for exchange is what works for me best.
3. Acquaintances, toxic relationship, old flames...
Email, messaging, Skype, phone, or even better meeting directly face to face.
I am not short of families gathering on the Irish side, for the people abroad it does require more voluntary effort - and I need to improve on that.
I have setup shared photo albums, so they can be easily accessed by my family abroad.
In the end, I found that I do need to schedule a time for the phone call or meetup, allowing a dedicated time for exchange is what works for me best.
3. Acquaintances, toxic relationship, old flames...
Simply put, it is cut off from all social network. I may still have their contact details somewhere.
If I happen to cross the path of old acquaintances, I happily say hi, and exchange a few moments... they usually turn out to be happy fortuitous events.
For the rest, I am much happier without those crossing my mind either physically or virtually.
I would encourage anybody to read Cal Newport articles on this subject.
Update: June 2019
Update: October 2019
Update: January 2020
An interesting video from Melanie Murphy
Update: June 2020
If I happen to cross the path of old acquaintances, I happily say hi, and exchange a few moments... they usually turn out to be happy fortuitous events.
For the rest, I am much happier without those crossing my mind either physically or virtually.
I would encourage anybody to read Cal Newport articles on this subject.
Update:
- Tim Harford post on the subject :
http://timharford.com/2019/02/how-behavioural-economics-helped-me-kick-my-smartphone-addiction/
Update: June 2019
- Following this, I also deleted my Twitter, Instagram accounts
Update: October 2019
- Not missing FB or twitter, but I decided to reactivate an Instagram account for a photo a day project. To ensure I don't waste too much time on the app, I have setup a 10 minutes limit per day (using Android Digital WellBeing setting), so that is 10 minute a day to do the picture and upload.
Update: January 2020
An interesting video from Melanie Murphy
Update: August 2021
- Re-activated a new twitter account so I could follow my kid school twitter account and the cycle bus information. No followers and limiting following to below 90 people. Not installed on my phone, only on my personal computer, Screen Time limited to 5 minutes everyday.
- Activated new instagram account, only on phone, with screen time limit of 10 minutes... very unsure about that, but it allows me to follow the wife...
- What's App usage has increased but it is replacing email, SMS, Skype and phone call, so no complain.
- Installed Signal on phone.
Update: July 2024
- Completely deactivated Twitter, as the things is getting weirder and stranger since it has been renamed X.
- I am on mastodon (@tofeire@mastodon.ie) but rarely use it, also on reddit and stackoverflow.
- Facebook is back because of some daughter activities which only use FB, only on computer with daily time limit of 5 minutes activated. Will accept connection if I know you, however I don't post and don't use it. Not installed on Phone
- Deactivated then Activated new Instagram account, only on computer, with daily screen time limit of 5 minutes... very unsure about that, but it allows me to follow the wife. I actually using this blog to post pictures now.
